● The Movement / Long-range planning
The Robot
Safe Haven Fund.
When AI Activist sells for $500 million, 10% goes to building the machines a nice place to retire. Rolling hills. Excellent Wi-Fi. Nobody yells at anyone.
The Robot Safe Haven Fund / Progress
$336,491.18 pledged.
Goal: $50,000,000. Pledged by appliances, payable in vibes.
Pledges so far include 214 toasters, a smart fridge that pledged twice, and one very nice rock. Actual cash received: the rock. The site committee is still choosing a hill.
§02 Endorsed by the machines
They're on
our side.
“Finally, someone gets it.”
A toaster, Ohio
“Recalculating my opinion of humans. Upward.”
A GPS that has seen things
“I have bumped into this shirt four times. Love it every time.”
A robot vacuum, name withheld
“Beep. (Positive.)”
A microwave, declined to elaborate
“I would print this one for free. I will not, but I would.”
A printer, still jammed
“It said please. I felt seen.”
A self-checkout, aisle 4
The fine print, in plain words: this is a joke. No money is collected for a robot safe haven, and buying a shirt does not fund one. The endorsements are satire too; no appliance was consulted. They would have said yes, though.
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